How I Conquered Russian Business (and slept with a load of sexy Russian models) in only 2 days, by Michael Peachdaddy
Hello, It’s me! Successful small businessman, entrepreneur and bonified orgasm machine Michael Peachdaddy. When I heard my no good hippy room-mate was coming to Russia to do some sort of lame ass public speaking engagements, I leapt at the chance to come over and expand the Peachdaddy PLC business empire.
Being the shrewd businessman I am, I saved money on the flight by being stored in the overhead bin, curled up in a ball in a Sainsbury’s bag. on the flight, I thought about my corporate strategy, and drunk 18 tiny (but big to me) bottles of the finest Vodka, to increase my confidence and virility. Arriving on the tarmac, I staggered out onto Russian soil with the confidence of 136 Donald Trumps.
Sam went off to his hippy love in, and I tied myself under a taxi full of businessmen (another excellent shrewd money-saver) to crash their meeting and steal all the business for myself! Lucky for me, they were going to a strip club (at 2pm, Prime time for corporate stripping) and I snuck in past the doorman by climbing through the ventilation pipes (another $44 dollars saved, a classic Peachdaddy win!)
after climbing for what seems like ages, avoiding rat after rat, I finally found an opening that dropped me into the strippers backstage area (a better writer would make a rude pun, but I am a classy guy). Once inside, I snorted a line of something that turned out to be one of the stripper’s concealer, and got a swift slap that propelled me out of the women’s changing room onto the dance floor. this is where the real business magic began.
the music was intoxicating. The smell of Hot, Wet business filled my nostrils, and as the strippers whipped their melons around like overclocked boat propellers, I moved in for the kill. I walked straight up to the biggest, sweatiest business man I could see, handed him my card, looked deep into his soul, and introduced myself. ‘Michael Peachdaddy, PLC. Get ready for a rock hard slab of pure commerce. You’ve hit the jackpot, compadre!’
The man looked at me, perplexed. He said something I didn’t understand, but I had the distinct feeling it was something along the lines of ‘Who let this child enter this business palace for kings?’ (a sentence I’ve heard a lot in my many years of international business dealings. when will people learn, I’m a small business man, not a hairy child!?) and I was promptly ejected by a huge bouncer with very hairy arms and just one big eyebrow. He smelt fantastic, and his strong arms made me feel safer than I ever had, just before he threw me face first onto the hard Moscow pavement.
Due to my natural agility and rich person savvy, I executed a perfect military style roll as my face hit the floor, did a triple backflip, and landed safely on my feet. This was witnessed by 3 super sexy Russian models (With Bazungahs that seemed to go on for days) doing a street shoot, who came over, giggling and lightly flicking each other’s nipples in a playful and carefree manner.
‘Oh, sexy foreign man, we are but three lonely models with nipples that could carve an ice sculpture, and we are lonely because there are more women than men here in Moscow! Won’t you come home and pleasure us, we will, of course, reimburse you greatly with money, Jewels and all the booze you can slurp’
Who was I to say no? I’m the MP goddamnit, I love business and humping, and anytime I get to do both is a real win, not just for me, or business, but for the whole world.
Buy my new book, ‘Business secrets and Erotic Adventures’ by Michael Peachdaddy to hear more stories of Cunning, Negotiation, Money saving and boinking.
PEACHDADDY OUT!!
